Obama’s first year is successful or failure are argued by people, according to the recent survey I see that someone think that he do a lots of positive tings to America at the same time saved the economical crisis on the contrast other people who with negative view that Obama make USA social system worse and worse he do nothing.We can not define a president what he did is good or bad in his first year. For my perspective, I think Obama is the most suitable leader of American, at least I think the direction of American is right. Obviously when Obama came upon the stage he face a lots of difficultly things like the worse time of economical and Iraq War social health care legislation, but he never give up!
In first place when American goes into recession he consecutive serious new policies saved the economic. Everyone known USA is the finical center of the word so we can infer that Obama make the word economical situation rise rapidly in last year. Second he changed the relationship with other country established new foreign policy. Obama has already significantly reoriented policy toward Iran, China, Russia, Iraq, Israel, and the Islamic world. The third he said he will close Guantanamo, and granted Nobel Peace Prize. But there still a lots negative news about him that he will announce a new strategy in Afghanistan, and the Guantanamo has yet to be closed.
Yes, many interesting points Duge. I agree with you that wouldn't be fair to judge someone after only a year in office and the US has taken some positive steps forward under Obama's leadership. However, there are many issues yet to be resolved, as you point out. Let's see what the next year or so brings.
ReplyDeleteYour writing here is quite expressive and you manage to convey your opinions well. The general structure is also pretty good, with some effective linking used. However, there are a number of significant language issues that you need to address to make your writing more professional and readable. Check them out:
- ' WHETHER Obama’s first year is successful or failure are argued by people'
- You need to separate your ideas better Duge. A comma (,) is not enough to separate different ideas; you need to stop and start a new sentence or use linkers. For example:
'Obama’s first year is successful or failure are argued by people. (NEW SENTENCE)According to the recent survey I see that someone think that he do a lots of positive tings to America AND (LINKER)at the same time saved the economical crisis. (NEW SENTENCE) BY contrast, other people who with negative view that Obama make USA social system worse and worse AND (LINKER) he DOES nothing'
- Instead of 'For my perspective', you can use 'in my view'.
- 'he faceD lots of difficultly, SUCH AS the ECONOMIC CRISIS and Iraq War'
- 'He INTRODUCED several new policies which saved the ECONOMY (NOUN)'
- 'IT IS WELL-KNOWN THAT...'
- 'SECONDLY, he HAS changed (present perfect for ongoing situations)the relationship with other COUNTRIES AND established new foreign policy'
- Instead of 'the third', try using another linker like 'besides this' or 'in addition'.
- 'But there ARE still lots of negative news about him that he will announce a new strategy in Afghanistan, and the Guantanamo has yet to be closed'
- Duge, a very serious point is that at least one sentence (and the title!) is copied from this website article:
http://www.slate.com/id/2236708/
You CANNOT copy like this without referencing the material. IT is very, very important that you understand this. If you do it at university, you will be in serious trouble and get 0% in your work.
A good report overall. Just keeping working on linking your ideas together better and your writing will improve significantly.