It seems to be a trend that terrorism has been more aggressive in the entire world. Bin Ladon, A well-known godfather of the terrorism, which warned Obama of more attacks in the future. He announced his speech from a tape. The tape should be an ultimatum to the world, and it pointed out U.S government directly.
the brutal tape claim that they will continue to teach U.S congress lessons if the U.S support Israel.It says'It is unfair you enjoy a safe life while our brothers in Gaza suffer greatly... Our attacks will continue as long as you support Israel.'(Page last updated at 16:31 GMT, Sunday, 24 January 2010,bbc news).
they also goes on"America will never dream of security unless we will have it in reality in Palestine." (Page last updated at 16:31 GMT, Sunday, 24 January 2010 bbc news). Which means the terrorism can not bear U.S. government right now, they want to support their brother country Palestine which desire peaceful life in the rest of time.
Up to now. the U.S.government could not react this situation, they are still confirming the authenticity of the tape. But Andy David, Israeli foreign ministry spokesman, which disclosed the terrorists'activity,he says'This is nothing new; he has said this before. Terrorists always look for absurd excuses for their despicable deeds'(Andy David, Israeli foreign ministry spokesman, 2010).
Overall, I agree with Andy David's speech. The terrorism will not launch their lowly action for a long time, besides, it will not exist in the world in the long period of time. In addition, this is a serious challenging that The U.S.government has to face. As far as I am concerned, how could Obama eliminate this block? For him and the whole world, how to compelely eliminate terrorism, this is the most significant issue that we have to face the music together.
Aaron
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/8477413.stm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2mZc9g9Wmo
Very interesting choice of topic here Aaron, although it was not on the topic we had outlined as the homework task. You should stick to the task you are goven. However, you make some engaging points here and your use of quotes is good. I like the way you comment on the quotes afterwards. Nice technique, although you could extend your own comments even more.
ReplyDeleteI think the last section, where you put forward your own views, should be extended - critical thinking and deep arguments are what we are aiming for at Masters level.
Your writing is well-structured and your points clearly expressed. Let me just give you a few pointers below:
- 'has BECOME more aggressive' (to talk about a social trend)
- 'The tape GOES ON TO SAY...'
- Don't forget to separate your ideas properly - a comma is not enough:
'...which means the terrorism cannot bear U.S. government right now. THEY want to support...'
- One more serious point Aaron is that you comment on Andy David's point by saying that you agree with him, but then you mention a completely different point! I don't get the connection between his point and your points! This must be clear.
- 'Besides' should be used at the start of a new sentence or after 'and'.
- 'a serious CHALLENGE'
- This sounds weird:
'As far as I am concerned, how could Obama eliminate this block?'
because 'as far as I'm concerned' is used when we give our own opinion on something, but here you just ask a question rather than give an actual opinion.
- 'face the music' is a lovely expression, but it's not very academic - better to use 'face this issue'
Overall, some good work here, but please stick to the topic we set and try to make sure your comments link directly with the quoted material you use.